Finding a provider that’s right for you can be incredibly difficult, when it shouldn’t be.

I’m not a medical doctor. I am a licensed clinical social worker (a specific way of saying I’m a mental health therapist). While we all walk through life with our own personal values, professionally we must abide by the code of ethics. It goes over all the things from anti-discrimination, to taking care of yourself (this one was a more recent addition). If we are found to be practicing outside of this code of ethics, we could potentially lose our professional license. This of course requires someone to make a report, the report be found credible, etc. Every client I work with gets a document that goes over me, my professional credentials, and the specifics of how to file a complaint to the board should I be in violation of the code of ethics. Clients have to sign these forms prior to their first appointment, and best practice is to review these forms and/or ask if folx have questions about any of the paperwork.

I have seen hundreds of doctors - fellows, nurse practitioners, residents, interns, medical students. My favorites are the ones who take a moment to introduce themselves and tell me who they are and what they are about to do. Seems like common sense…but apparently it isn’t. At present, I have awesome doctors.

Yet even I (a therapist), who understands and values the complaint process when there are real ethical concerns…would be hesitant to utilize the process in medical settings. Frankly, I have no idea how to use the process with a medical professional.

More than that, in the past, I was fine with “fine” medical care because I’d had less than fine care, and didn’t hardly want to rock the boat.

Realistically - when your life is on the line, it’s completely human to want respect & kindness from your provider. Unfortunately, due to a host of barriers to access, health insurance dilemmas and more - folx often find themselves in situations where they don’t feel heard or affirmed. Sometimes we can’t access other providers for financial/geographical reasons and/or there simply isn’t another to access in our area or in network with our financial situations.


Remember -

  1. You have the right to ask for a second opinion, but know that the second opinion may still confirm the original opinion.

  2. You have the right to report ethical violations. If a provider is committing ethical violations, you probably aren’t the first patient on the receiving end. You may be the first patient to know you can do something about it…

  3. You can call your insurance provider for a list of other providers in your network and in your area. You can ask your current officer for another provider in house, or another referral - or you can call your insurance.

  4. Ask other patients. Do you know someone else with a doctor? Do they like there provider? Ask.

  5. If you have multiple doctors, and have strong rapport and trust with one. Reach out to them and voice your concerns about other providers. They may have other resources that are a better fit for you.

A common question I get is how do I find a Brown/Queer/Affirming/Female/etc. medical provider. My usual answer is - ask.

When you call the doctor’s office - ask.

If you have friends with doctors - ask.

If you have health insurance - ask.

The worse they can tell you is “I don’t know” and/or “we don’t have anyone”. Either way, you have your answer.

Another option is to check out your local centers. My local LGBT center has a list of medical/dental/mental health providers that they recommend. Mental health directories are often population specific which makes it a bit easier. Medical providers are a bit different, so just remember that you have a right to ask.

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